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Cranking Out Hill Repeats to Disco
Ever hit hill repeats at 5:15 AM to KC & The Sunshine Band? Same here. One bleary-eyed morning, I was eyeballs-deep in squats when a couple of CrossFit bros—today’s off-road descendants of those early-days triathlon bros—started bragging about their latest “300-rep AMRAP” and “ego-crushing clean & jerk.” Needless to say, I needed a better pump-up song—so I wrote one: “I’m Your Triathlon Man.”
Below you’ll find the full lyrics (yes, with emojis!), plus a few takeaways on why turning your next sweat session into a sing-along might just be the best idea you’ve had all day.
The Triathlon Anthem Lyrics
One…two…three… I’m your Triathlon Man
Verse 1
One, two, three
I’m your triathlon man, that’s what I am, I do a tri, whenever I can
Brick then run, GU packs in my belt, curse at hill repeats, until I puke
Quick T1—wetsuit off, helmet on—I’m set to ride
Chest strap hums, let’s hit zone 5, my watch keeps time, splits don’t lie
Oh yea…Chorus
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—burn, recover, repeat
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—time trials are fun
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—sweat, speed, and jam
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—embrace the suckVerse 2
I’m your triathlon man, that’s what I am, pre-dawn swims—Krispy Kremes FTW
Pee-warmed wetsuit—too cold for Speedo, big stacks blown—on kit and leg-wax fees
Aero wheels—look real cool. Carbon is the thing—that will get the edge
Road-sign sprints—with the team. I hate PowerBars—they taste like dirt
Oh yea…Chorus
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—burn, recover, repeat
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—time trials are fun
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—sweat, speed, and jam
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—embrace the suckVerse 3
Brick sessions rock—legs burn with pride. Pee on the bike—then I’m back to the ride
Timex Ironman ticks—every lap’s a feat. Join our old-school cult—train hard or taste defeat
Quick T1—wetsuit off, helmet on—I’m set to ride
Chest strap hums—let’s hit zone 5. Watch keeps time—splits don’t lie
Oh yea…Chorus
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—burn, recover, repeat
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—time trials are fun
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—sweat, speed, and jam
I’m your triathlon man, I’m your triathlon man—embrace the suckBridge
(Feel free to improvise some dance breaks!)
Why Songs = Stories
- Memory hooks: A catchy chorus burrows into your brain—just like your favorite childhood tune.
- Emotional punch: Disco beats + ridiculous lyrics = endorphin blast.
- Community vibe: Suddenly you’re not just exercising—you’re narrating your own triathlon saga.
Your Turn
What’s your wildest Speedo story, funniest workout memory, or goofiest anthem? Drop it in the comments below—bonus points for karaoke-style renditions!
Happy training, and remember: embrace the suck.
#Ironman #TriathlonLife #DiscoWorkout #StoryTelling
