You know, people always ask me, “Doug, how did you end up being the guy responsible for triskaidekaphobia—the fear of the number 13?” And honestly, it wasn’t something I set out to do. I was just a bald Texan trying to enjoy a barbecue, but one fateful day, a pot of chili and a handful of beans changed everything.

Let me set the scene for you.

The Day It All Went Wrong

It was a perfect Texas day—blue skies, warm sun, and the smell of smoked brisket in the air. I was in charge of the chili, a responsibility I don’t take lightly. Now, if you’re from Texas, you know there’s one golden rule about chili: no beans. Chili with beans? That’s not chili; that’s soup. But me? I thought I’d get creative.

I’d been hearing a lot about beans being a “hearty addition,” and I figured, why not give it a shot? So, against every Texan instinct, I tossed a few beans into the pot. It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time.

Then came the moment of truth. I was carrying the pot of chili to the table, proud as could be, when disaster struck. I tripped over—what was it? A rock? A stick? Nope just me tripping over my own feet.  I swear, it felt like fate itself wanted me to fail. The chili went flying.

The Chili Spill Heard ‘Round the World

Now, here’s where it gets weird. When the chili hit the ground, it didn’t just make a mess. No, it landed in a pattern that looked exactly like the number 13. And wouldn’t you know it? It was a Friday the 13th.

The crowd went quiet. Someone whispered, “That’s a bad omen.” Another person muttered, “Doug, what have you done?” I tried to laugh it off, but the damage was done. Word spread quickly—faster than it should’ve, if you ask me. The chili spill became legend, and suddenly, people were blaming me for making the number 13 unlucky.

Beans: The True Culprit

I’d like to take a moment to address the real issue here: the beans. If I hadn’t put beans in that chili, none of this would’ve happened. Everyone knows beans turn chili into soup. I broke the chili code, and the universe punished me for it. Lesson learned.

What I’ve Learned Since Then

Looking back, it’s funny to think about how a simple barbecue mishap turned into a worldwide superstition. But I’ve learned a few things along the way:

1. Traditions Exist for a Reason: I should’ve known better than to mess with Texas chili. No beans means no bad juju.
2. The Butterfly Effect Is Real: Who would’ve thought one small spill could ripple into decades of superstition? It’s a humbling reminder that even the smallest actions can have big consequences.
3. Don’t Fear the 13: Honestly, it’s just a number. If anything, it should be a symbol of resilience—or maybe a reminder to double-check your footing when carrying chili.

Embrace the Legend

At the end of the day, I’ve come to embrace my role in this bizarre chapter of history. Sure, I accidentally made people afraid of a number, but I also gave them a story to tell. And isn’t that what life’s all about?

So, the next time Friday the 13th rolls around, don’t let it spook you. Instead, grab a bowl of beanless chili, raise a spoon in my honor, and remember: the only thing to fear is putting beans where they don’t belong.

Classic Doug move, right?

When is a time that you tempted fate and broke tradition only to have it bit you on the butt?

#IBlameDoug #NoBeansInChili #TexasBarbecue #FridayThe13th #Triskaidekaphobia #Storytelling